What are we looking for?

Yesterday I mailed it in! Yeah me! It was very nerve wracking; I was sure I'd do something wrong and I found a typo just before I printed everything. But after it was all over, it was a really good feeling. I now have to wait at least three months, and it might only be a rejection letter that I get, but I will always be able to say that I tried. I actually finished a real story and put it out there. Like I said, yeah me!

I have a bit of an idea brewing for the next book in the series and hope to put some thoughts down on paper later today. Of course I still have lots of thoughts about lots of other projects, but they are much bigger and will have to wait until I can get consistent writing time.

I gotta admit that I'm not too inspired about blogging anymore. This is going to sound totally bitter, but the main reason is an increasing lack of comments. Don't know if I've lost all my readers, or if they just don't know what to say, but it really discourages me to put something out there and not get any feedback. I guess that's sort of the problem with blogging. What is the real purpose? Serious writers just do their work, finish their projects and patiently await publication, right? Some even live in utter isolation while completing a work. Does this mean I'm not a serious writer? Do "they" have other means of feedback that I don't know about -- circles of writer friends, societies of authors, etc.?

I've recently become closer to a friend here who also dabbles in writing and we've decided to get together a couple of times a month and discuss future writing hopes and the means for giving them life. This venture is still new, but it encourages me more than anything I can remember in a long time.

So what about the blogging thing? Am I quitting? I doubt it. But I just have to ask these questions. What am I really hoping to find here? Is this the same desire that motivates one to update one's facebook status twelve times a day? Sometimes I think we just all want to know that someone is paying attention to our lives. Sure, I say I believe that God is concerned about every hair on my head, but is He the one I have in mind when I imagine that I'm being watched as I put on my sunglasses and back out of my driveway? And does that make me a totally odd, creepy person?

Lots of questions. Very few answers. Is it all a ploy to get you to respond? I'm really not that complex and devious -- I just wanna know if you're like me. Do you wish for more in your relationships with other people, with God? Why are we so bad at living in community? I don't mean getting together for church or life group a couple of times a week. I mean showing up to meet other people without packing away all the unacceptable carry ons before you walk through the gate. Really being real, saying aloud the things we anonymously type onto our keyboards. Are these needs only to be met in the kingdom that's to come? Will we not walk through the tree's shadow before we climb up?


Jerusalem said...

yes, you can't blog for the comments. sure fire way not to get any. I guess you have to blog for the same reason you do anything creative- because you want a record of what you were thinking/doing/hearing/seeing at a given moment. My blog is a mix of my life. A little of this, a little of that. Sometimes I wish it were more creative. Sometimes I wish it were deeper more often. But when I look through the archives I see so much of my life that I forgot, so many colors and shapes and feelings and ideas and if I had not taken the time to blog about them, would be lost to me forever. So I blog to record and remember and share. But I do love it when I get a lot of comments. I am human after all!

The Tuckers said...

I think you could unpack this post into several different ideas that would be challenging to explore. I've also thought about the chronic need to update Facebook & check it ... my own need included. What's that about? For me I think you nailed it. And your final thoughts about community too--showing up, being real, saying things aloud. And that writer friend you've been meeting with...sounds great!!! Lucky friend. ;)

Sarah said...

Well, you inspired me to leave a comment. I am the person who reads everybodys blogs and facebooks but never one of my own. There is a whole thing to get into right there. But you nailed the being real thing. I feel nobody really wants you to be real, if they knew everything they would have to deal with you and all your problems. Love you for the good and the bad, and not judge for all the bad. Can we ever get to all being "real" or at least a few of us? Good question!

tamsaunt said...

Good for you in getting up your nerve to send your "baby" in for someone to critique. As one who would love to be able to write creatively (but can't), you are to be applauded for even getting your story down on paper. I know what you mean about comments to your blog, especially when you write something that you feel reveals a part of you and no one comments. I am guilty of that myself and will try to do better. I don't read many blogs but yours is one I read regularly, with much pleasure.

Mother Letter said...

Congrats on birthing a story. Must be awesome.

I am also working on a little project that I think you might be interested in. Could you take a few to visit the blogspot below and let some of your writerly types know about it.


Doubtful Muse said...

Congrats on sending *it* in and good luck!

Regarding comments -- it's nice to get them, isn't it? I know I enjoy reading them myself. I've been behind on the blogs I normally read, and yours is one of them, so I hope you don't give it up. Even though it may not really be "useful," I think blogging is a good way of building up the muscles writers need in order to express themselves well, and it's easier than coming up with the framework for an entire story.

Blogging has actually sparked some story ideas for me -- some of my posts about my grandmothers and history gave me the idea to write an historical novel set in Arkansas. It didn't occur to me to think along those lines until Nan suggested that I enter a story in the Arkansas Writers' Conference contest. All my existing stuff was too long, so I spiffed up a blog post and entered that and won 2nd prize in the category I entered. That started me thinking about what I take for granted, and ways I could use those ideas. Nearly 3 years of posts has turned out to be a gold mine.

Kimberly said...

oops... a little late...

You go girl - what an amazing feeling to have released one of your stories into the world!

As far as the comments, I am often surprised by people who mention something about my blog who I had no clue even knew about it, much less read it. And think of the blogging as a discipline of writing if nothing else - it forces us to get words out there in public.

Ann said...

Okay, so I just found your blog since you just found me! :-) But, whatever you write, I'll read! I love reading blogs. I might not comment every single time, but I'll read faithfully - and even comment pretty regularly! :-) I like those comments, too, and don't often get them on my blog either. I write because I can't help it. I have to get it out, and that's my only outlet right now! Can't wait to go back and read more of your life! Thanks for sharing!

Rachel said...

I'm exactly the same way about blog comments. It's ridiculous how much I crave the affirmation that they can give! And when it doesn't come, I do tend to withdraw from sharing as much. So I'm glad to know that someone else out there feels the same way.

Also, I've long been a proponent for blog ettiquette - if you read a blog, I've always believed you should post a comment! ha ha Glad that you got a few more comments on this one. :-)