I can't help but wonder sometimes how many mistakes could be avoided, how many relationships restored, or even lives could be saved, if we could just say aloud, "Hey man, I'm feeling a little desperate." What else drives our impulses like that feeling? What else makes us behave so carelessly? We all hate feeling stuck, or lonely, or worried. Add pain to that mix and you'll create a time bomb ticking toward self destruction. But what if, when we felt that way, we actually reached out for help, instead of pretending everything was fine? What if you called a friend and admitted you were feeling sad, or struggling with temptation, or filled with fear?
Let me just be honest here and tell you that when I'm feeling desperate and the thought occurs to me that telling someone else might help, I usually start making a mental list of excuses. I recall how busy my friends are, I tell myself they have their own problems to deal with, or worse, I convince myself I don't have any friends to call. When the truth is, I'm really more scared about what people will think of me when they find out I don't have my stuff together. It's hard to trust others. Who knows how they will react to the real me?
They say pride is the chief of all sins, and to share my true, desperate, self is to let go of the illusion that I can handle this life all on my own. Yet pride can be even more subtle, because it often makes us think our own foolish, desperate, self is the only one we can trust. It may take awhile to figure out who the best people in your life are to open up to -- there are certainly people who aren't too good at handling our hearts -- but to never even try means you will continue doing life all on your own. I want to be someone whom others can trust, who helps and loves well. Trick of it is that we learn by doing. When I want to help a desperate friend I try and act like those who have helped me in times past. They could never have shown me anything though, if I hadn't first opened up to them.
So this song is for those friends, and counselors and Christians who've listened and loved and spoken truth into my life. Thanks for saving me from myself.