10/2/12

just getting my bearings again

I realize I may have left a few of you hanging, so I've decided to tell you a little bit about my new job. I'm working in a small office,  with 4 other adults -- there are no little people anywhere. My task is to learn about what my boss does, by listening to his old radio shows, and help him write scripts for a new TV show. The difficult part is that I still don't understand everything he does because his job is all about finances and helping other people manage their money. I have zero background for any of this. The fun part is I'm helping to create a brand new TV show! It's only on the local channel for now, but it's still pretty exciting. I've never used so many creative parts of my brain at one time... and I'm actually getting paid for it!

But what I've been wondering about lately is this...

What if the job scratches my creative itch and I don’t have any motivation left for my own pursuits? 

Or what if the motivation is there, but I have no energy left at the end of the day to even try? 

But then I get letters from people who say they need my stories, how they're giving them life. And I really want to be able to do both.

It’s been a month now, so I feel like transition and excuse time are over. Time to get to work. But what do I do? Can I really dive into my book again? Maybe. It feels like I need a week-long  retreat with nothing else to do but write. NO responsibilities…no school pick-ups or housework or feeding and caring for others. Just me … alone… could that work? When would that ever happen?


It feels like the safest thing for now is just to do short projects: blog posts, poems and the occasional essay. But what do I talk about now? It’s been mommy –kid land for so long now and I’ve only written from the sad, stay-at-home (not that those two things are inherently related) perspective. Do I have another voice? A happier, more confident one? And will it still move people?

Well, those are the thoughts rolling around in my head these days. Thanks for reading them, and posting any comments if you have them. If you wanna check out the website for my office, go here. We're premiering in February and we'll have a new website for just the TV show then. If you're local, I hope you like it and tune in when you can! 

Guess that's all I got for now. Hope y'all have a nice night. See ya back here next time.

--Janna 

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